Rock and Roll All Night, Feel Guilty Every Day

Our night-owl culture is officially under attack. There's no denying it now. The evidence is solid. We can no longer pretend there isn't a problem. Reading, playing on the computer and drinking and smoking all night with friends does in fact have a negative impact on our academic performance. A new scientific finding illustrates unequivocally what we already knew or suspected intuitively: Night owls get lower grades.

Armed with the dull hypothesis, researchers at the University of North Texas split 824 students into two categories: the good (high GPAs) and the bad (low GPAs). In the survey, the good students mostly identified themselves as "morning people." The bad students griped about trouble staying focused and sleep irregularities such as difficulty falling asleep, sleepwalking, restless kicking … and most likely an inordinate fondness for potato chips and The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. Most of them fell asleep during the survey before they got that far, though.