Jules turned the knob on the hot water up. To the point it was nearly intolerable. He did this on occasion. Watching his pale skin turn pink. Where the water connected with the sagging skin of his arms, steam rose toward the ceiling. Jules needed a break. He appreciated Reva coming to help him. He loved seeing his granddaughters, who were women now.
Though Jules couldn’t consciously accept the idea of moving out of his house yet, somewhere lower than his stubborn mind, perhaps in his gut or gallbladder, he realized it was needed. He couldn’t live alone much longer, he might end up dead rather than living out another few years somewhere safer, but likely disheartening, possibly medicinal, and maybe even suffocating.
He’d loved Reva every day since she’d been born. Even when she screamed profanities at him. Even when she threatened not to speak to him. Even when she stopped calling for a few months. Even when she fell in love with Karl. Even when she decided she needed nobody and nothing. Even when she became horribly depressed. Even when she forgot how to laugh with him. Even when she resented him for falling in love again. Even when he moved across the country to start a more tranquil phase of his life. Even when she felt totally alone and insisted she was fine.
Likewise, Jules knew Reva loved him. He knew she wanted what she thought was best for him. Didn’t want to see him hurt or lost or confused in his solitude. Didn’t want him to die. He didn’t want to die, but he didn’t fight the idea the way he saw so many friends had.
Reva wanted someone to be there for him at all times. Finding three people who could stay with him in the house each day, round-the-clock eight hour shifts, it wasn’t affordable unless they sold the beautiful three-bedroom house, among the trees on the hillside. Would a new condo with three helpers orbiting him be any better than a facility? Reva had to get back to her work and her life eventually.
For now, Reva had planted herself in the guest room. In several months, Jules figured he’d be living in some unfamiliar place, though he had a dawning awareness that the world outside of the four walls of his home had become less familiar in general.
When Jules told Reva and the girls that he was heading out on a hike with Seamus, Reva mentioned bug spray, sunscreen and hydration. Then she asked about his sneakers. He brought out his Asics. Reva asked about where they were headed, but Jules refused.
“Seamus can take care of us, honey. Don’t worry,” Jules explained.
Seamus honked the Subaru’s horn just after 10 a.m. They were headed for an “Old Folks” gentle hike at Rattlesnake Canyon. Jules descended the stairs and opened the passenger door to see Seamus wearing his oversized sunglasses and sun hat. Jules wore his sneakers for traction, gray leisure pants, long-sleeved shirt and his navy-and-gray Sixers cap. Seamus said, “Go Sixers!”
They drove 15 minutes along the winding foothill roads to Skofield Park, parking at the trailhead. Seamus read from his phone. “Says the hike is 4.5 miles roundtrip, so we’re looking at 90 minutes out. Lunch. Then a little over an hour back down. We’ll have a yarn. Sound good, pal?” He asked.
“Sounds fine to me. Maybe we play it by ear and see how we’re doing an hour in?” Jules added.
They sprayed insect repellent on their arms and necks and began walking. The trail was shaded and smooth. Wildflowers surrounded the path. Bees buzzed. A red-tailed hawk circled elegantly above. Spring sunshine at last.
“Bout ye? With Reva?” Seamus asked as they climbed the dirt path.
“We’re okay. She wants what’s best for me. Trying to be grateful for her help,” Jules replied.
“But…” Seamus let the pause linger as they crunched on.
“She wants to help, but doesn’t really want to listen.” Jules stopped walking for a moment. Seamus turned and saw he’d stopped. They both drank from their thermoses.
“Always been a planner. There’s a lot to plan. She wants to find the perfect place for me. There is no perfect place for me. I’d prefer to stay in the house and have people come if needed. Ako and Ruby have been great. Really helpful and kind. We had a routine going.” Jules paused.
“Reva is sure you need more attention than two hours after breakfast and two hours before dinner? Afraid of you being alone?” Seamus asked.
“I think she’s always been afraid of me being alone. She grew up so close to me, you know. Those teenage years. Just us. She doesn’t know what else to do. We can’t ask Ruby and Ako to stay for six hours each, unless we break the contract with the service. Plus, Ruby has a little one.” Jules explained.
“Hmm. Tricky,” Seamus nodded, then stopped. “You hear that?” Seamus asked.
Jules stopped. A rattling sound off to their left. The path was clear. They waited. “I heard it. Sounded like maybe 10 feet off. Don’t worry. They want to avoid us,” Jules patted Seamus’ shoulder.
They stopped to drink water and share a cup of blueberries and cashews. The sun was approaching its zenith overhead. The shaded stretch of trail gave way to an open path as the sun beat down on Jules and Seamus. Jules asked about Seamus’ kids.
“Lilly’s doing better. They’re in counseling. Her husband Simon stopped gambling, apparently. Beats me how anyone could wager more than a few bucks on a baseball game. Lost several thousand dollars. With her ultimatum, he finally stopped. Got himself together,” Seamus finished.
“Well, that’s good. How about her job?” asked Jules.
Seamus gazed out at the canyon view. “Think she still hates her job, but it pays well. Real estate. Soul-crushing reality, selling other people their dream homes while you wait for your own. Nobody wants to do that forever. Maybe she’ll stop when Tim is through college. Another decade till then!” Seamus sometimes surprised himself as he spoke.
“Sounds like a lot. Glad they’re on the upswing. Hey, let’s pull over. I’m thirsty again.” Jules said. “What about you? Ever gambled?” he asked Seamus.
“Gambling. Few times. Once, in my early-20s. A summer trip back to Belfast with my girlfriend. My team, Dundela, was playing a Saturday match. Saw an old friend in the crowd. Yeah, he was cheering for the other club. We needed money for a cheap flight, she wanted to see the tulip fields and try Amsterdam’s medicinal offerings. Man, the memory floods back into me. That must’ve been the mid-80s. Dundela came back from 2-1 down and won on penalty kicks. We went with my old pal and he took the money out of his account. 200 pounds. Long before the Euro. Then we had a grand time in Amsterdam. She was gorgeous. Italian-American. Fiery and a wee bit nuts, but mighty wild. Wonder what the hell happened to her…” Seamus trailed off.
“You want to head back down?” Seamus peeled a banana and handed Jules a chunk.
“Yeah, probably should,” Jules replied. He wouldn’t admit how exhausting the climb had been, but the sun-drenched section of the trail had been brutal. The bugs were everywhere, too. His legs felt like jelly.
Soon, the two friends were heading back down the trail. Jules became weak-kneed and started to stumble. Seamus hooked his arm around Jules and they descended at a much slower clip. Eventually, they made it back to the trailhead. Sweat drenched their foreheads, underarms and the back of their necks. Seamus added an electrolyte powder to his water and dumped some into Jules’ thermos as well.
As they drove down through the hillside roads, Jules gazed out the window at the blue sky. Seamus tapped the steering wheel as he drove. Jules glanced over at Seamus. He wondered how much of the shaggy light brown hair would turn silver in the next 20 years. He knew he’d never know Seamus as an old man.
Then Seamus spoke about Jules’ situation. “I can imagine it’d be tricky to leave your lovely house for some lonely place, but do you trust Reva wouldn’t dump you in some terrible home?” Seamus asked.
“Yes. I trust she’ll find a decent place,” Jules sighed.
“But I might not want to stay there,” he added.
“Oh no?” Seamus asked.
“No,” Jules said.