On the Evolution of Language

How sad that use of the word “ejaculate”
in the sense of uttering suddenly and
vehemently has all but disappeared
from the English language. I gather
that lack of attention here to correct
punctuation could pose a problem at
times as in You are a disgrace to your
community. He ejaculated. Nevertheless,
I mourn that our words of sudden anger
and outrage are not ejaculated with greater
frequency: Fuck you, loser, she ejaculated,
then stepped back into her leather boots.
What the fuck? we all ejaculated the morning
after election day. How much better we’d
feel if we could ejaculate at those times of
greatest need—when the boss tells you
you’re fired, when horrible leaders are
elected, when the neighbors play “We
Built This City on Rock and Roll” and start
to dance, their eyes glowing with bad whiskey,
bad acid, and meth, their bodies starting to
shiver like a pair of old Bose speakers.