I recently emailed a complaint letter to Haleon Corporation, manufacturer of Chocolate Ex-Lax. As with all my consumer letters, I used my alias Leo “Ersatz” Lobo.
Email to Haleon Corporation Customer Service: (sent 4–20–26)
Dear Ex-Lax Candy Corporation,
I think I might have eaten too much of your chocolate bar. I ate 24 squares in one sitting. It made me farty and I nearly pooped my pants while delivering food for my Uber Eats job. FYI, I was delivering groceries to an elderly man in an apartment complex. When I saw your candy bar in his grocery bag I couldn’t help myself. I know this is wrong but I was craving chocolate and your candy bar was too tempting to resist. I have one criticism. Please add more sugar to the formula. Your chocolate is too bitter. I’m not saying it’s terrible, it’s just not as good as Hershey’s or Nestle. I’m wondering if this is a diet chocolate bar. This wasn’t advertised on the wrapping but maybe I missed something. Anyway, please let me know how long you expect me to continue pooping based on eating 24 squares of your nearly delicious chocolate bar. If I’ve eaten too much, please let me know. I took the day off work to stay close to the toilet so I’d rather not drive to a doctor’s office. Let me know either way.
Thank you,
Leo Ersatz Lobo
Email Reply from Haleon Corporation: (received 4–23–26)
Dear Leo,
We completely understand your interest in exploring the potential of our product beyond its labelled use. However, I hope you’ll understand that any usage outside the label instructions is considered off-label, and we’re unable to comment on such usage.
Your health and safety are paramount to us, which is why we diligently test and provide guidelines for specific uses. For personalized advice or alternative applications, we suggest consulting your healthcare professional. They possess the expertise to understand your unique health situation and offer tailored advice that aligns with your needs.
If you have further queries or require information within the labelled guidelines, please don’t hesitate to reach out. We’re here to support you.
Thank you for your understanding and trust in our product.
Yours sincerely,
Claire
Consumer Relations
Haleon