Here I am, slowly going insane. Looking back to times past throughout a history of missteps. When didn’t it suck one way or another? Where didn’t the ill winds blow? Was there ever any period of time in your life when it didn’t suck?
A time when evildoers didn’t exist. I think not. What do you do when you have no place to go? Same day, different people, other places. Sometimes looking back is the only way to move forward. To what end? Did it ever serve a purpose? Too many damn problems, so little time, so many questions without answers. Not to worry about such trivial matters. I must be crazy to think about how it pretty much sucks most of the time. Flip, flop, and fly. I don’t care if I die.
What's this, pursuing a peace angle? You were born with it. You have it right now. It was always there, before the fall and after the deluge. Why do we need to pursue it? It’s a matter of choice. The right to choose doesn’t exist when there are too many choices. If you decide on a peaceful existence, then don’t go looking for rainbows. There are enough problems along the way. No beginnings, only hesitation and false starts. There will always be concerns and plenty of time for fixing them.
The final solution. The people have spoken. It’s never enough. But, in all seriousness, just kidding. The world is ever-changing, and it’s always been crazy. At least as far as I can tell. What makes now any different from what’s transpired since the day you were born? It’s always happening. It’s happening again. Right now. If you have to look for it, maybe you never really had it to begin with.
In this bewildered state, struck dumbfounded by the sheer stupidity of it all, we capitulate to the notion that power is arbitrary. Not a good thing for the people of this country or the world at large. How much is too much? How little do we know about this or that? Knowing less every day. Surrender. You’re surrounded. Give up now, and they might let you live to breathe another day.
Trapped in the prison of the mind. A scary place in an unfeeling world. A place where the past has been taken for granted because it’s never around when you need it. It’s some hokey carnival ride in a house of horrors. The threat is real. Are you scared yet? We have no recourse. Don’t be afraid. We’re all suckers fooled by the clock's faceless face. No recollections of anything before this moment in fractured time. Truth is the lies we tell ourselves in order to survive another day, another year in a lifetime of pain and misery. Our lot lives in a limbo dream of better tomorrows that never arrive.
Yet here we are, two bit players in a bad movie. The pinnacle of absurdity, haunted by echoes of questions that only lead to more questions. The world spins between chaos and monotonous routine. Cast as spectators and participants in the sitcom of living lives in silent, desperate heartbeats and canned guffaws. Sometimes it’s just another trick of the light—a mirage game of chance played from the edge of exhaustion, or maybe the faintest pulse that keeps the blood flowing. Moving forward in spite of ourselves, so tired of the same old same old, becoming new again.
We tell stories to patch the holes in our heads. Stuff is always leaking out. A house without windows, walls, or doors. We conjure meaning from static energy. But there was never any doubt. It is all just noise and chaos. Lacking in humanity, the emotional baggage we carry around is like an accoutrement accessory to our crimes. Just keep moving. Stay in step. Keep in line. Maybe that’s the secret. Not peace or love, but stubborn endurance—a reflex to keep breathing, keep asking, and keep waking up to the possibility of the same day. The curtain rises above the proscenium to reveal a brick wall. There is no exit door from the stage. It plays out like some strange reoccurring nightmare.
The days and nights creep by. It’s good to say that everything is okay. We’ll get through this together or alone. Either way, skirting along the lines of what was and agreeing upon what is. Every breath is the last gasp of a moment in too many words that signify the demise of our undoing. Search for the light because darkness consumes all. Steady as you go, hoping beyond hope that peace and freedom will come to pass. It won’t. Give me a break. You can see the light is shining on, but nobody’s ever home.