Forceful counsel (shaved head, mustache): Not so much. Not so much, my friend. No hummus, no split carrots, no Ranch. This is the point I want to impress on you. Okay? We proceed from here. Forget the hummus, the, the—
Blunt-spoken advocate (high collar, well-honed lapels): Listen, can I? Can I, I just, I’m going to interject. Because… not so. All right? Not so. Anderson, what my colleague is saying there, I term it to be malpractice, just about. I term it really tantamount malpractice. And we’re going to be looking at the implications of that, legally, as we go down that route.
Forceful counsel: The great Howell Heflin said, “If you got it, flaunt it. If you don’t got it, flaunt it not.” That’s the message I’m sending as of now. No hummus. Split carrots, yes. Ranch, yes. No to that stuff.
Blunt-spoken advocate: Look, I want this understood. I’ll make this point. You don’t mind talking—
Forceful counsel: I don’t mind talking.
Blunt-spoken advocate: But I want to say—
Forceful counsel: I don’t mind talking.
Blunt-spoken advocate: But—
Forceful counsel: I don’t mind talking.
Blunt-spoken advocate: But I want to say, all right, pineapple chunks are okay. Chunks, the pickles, the Honey Mustard, also the Ranch. These are all fine. These are all just [flapping his hands] hunky-dory. What isn’t, all right? What isn’t so, so hunky-dory is this barefaced manipulation of a process.
Forceful counsel: I don’t mind talking. He’s [imitates hand flapping], he’s directing air traffic, and I’m just—
Blunt-spoken advocate: You like that? That’s for you [hands flapping]. I’m doing it for you. Sending it direct [hands still flapping]. Baked it fresh [hands still flapping]. That’s coming your way [hands still flapping].
Forceful counsel: Oh, I’m catching it. I am grabbing it out of mid-air because it is just that fresh. Gentlemen, can I submit that maybe the gesture my colleague has in mind should properly be… Nah. I’m not going to do it. Nah. [To a lady on line:] Ma’am.
Blunt-spoken advocate: Pickles, Honey Mustard, also the Ranch. These are all fine. You may not find that convenient to admit, you may not—
Forceful counsel: Not the Ranch.
Blunt-spoken advocate: But combine these elements, and the sandwich as agreed upon is bodied forth. With the pickles. With the chunks. With the Honey Mustard, the Ranch. The sliced black olives. And no whole wheat. White.
Forceful counsel: Unconscionable, okay? I mean—many years in the business. Seen many, many stratagems. But what we’re seeing here, Anderson, I got to say, this troubles me. My colleague was talking about a barefaced manipulation of a process. Okay, right here there’s a process that’s being manipulated. He’s sneaking in Ranch. He’s sneaking in Ranch.
Blunt-spoken advocate: Tantamount malpractice. I’m surprised you’re going this route. Because I, I think, really, I’m going to be getting the lease to your house. As a matter of your own legal prudential self-consideration, I’m surprised.
Forceful counsel: Trying to get Ranch in there. You thought nobody would notice. People notice. People notice.
Blunt-spoken advocate: Because your insinuation is legally troubling and I’m surprised you wouldn’t know it. Pineapple, pickles, black olives, Honey Mustard, maybe Ranch.
Forceful counsel: No Ranch.
Blunt-spoken advocate: Gonna say Ranch.
Forceful counsel: No Ranch.
Blunt-spoken advocate: Gonna say Ranch. Sliced black olives.
Laura Coates [behind the counter]: Gentlemen, this is a donut shop.