Quoting movie dialogue reminds you you’re not alone in the world. Whatever the challenge, someone else has already experienced the situation. The fact the someone else is a movie actor reciting lines from a screenwriter is irrelevant. Muttering “You can’t handle the truth” to a boss who won’t acknowledge your workplace complaints makes you feel like your life is as dramatic as a movie. When that same boss fires you for insubordination, you can quote Marlon Brando from On the Waterfront and say, “I coulda been a contender.” This won’t bring your job back but it might make you feel more like cinematic royalty than a workplace loser.
Here are some movie lines I’ve used at various times.
When someone asks me what time it is, I love to quote Peter Lorre from Beat the Devil. “Time. Time. What is time? Swiss manufacture it. French hoard it. Italians squander it. Americans say it’s money. Hindus say it does not exist. Do you know what I say? I say time is a crook.”
When traveling in some new place with strange customs, I quote Judy Garland from The Wizard of Oz. “I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.”
During the 2020 election when a door-to-door canvasser wanted to speak with me in the midst of Covid, I quoted Anthony Hopkins from Silence of the Lambs. “A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.”
When my dentist probed a cavity in my back molar I asked, “Is it safe?” He replied that patients asked him the same question for years until he realized they were quoting Marathon Man.
When visiting my mom at a nursing home a security guard asked to see my visitor tag. I quoted The Treasure of the Sierra Madre. “Badges? I don’t need no badges! I don’t have to show you any stinking badges!”
When I’m nearly hit by some idiot driver while crossing the street, I’ll yell “I’m walking here” a la Dustin Hoffman from Midnight Cowboy.
When wielding a pair of shears as I’m about to trim a friend’s hair, I quote Al Pacino from Scarface, “Say hello to my little friend.”
During a dinner with old schoolmates, a heated conversation erupted between two old friends. I pulled out my favorite line from Dr. Strangelove. “Gentlemen, you can’t fight here. This is the war room!”
While eating an awful Vietnamese Pho dinner in Garden Grove, I used Charlton Heston’s line from Soylent Green. “Soylent Green is people.”
When mourning a rug we had to throw away because our cat pissed on it, I quoted The Big Lebowski. “That rug really tied the room together.”
When an Uber driver arrived to schlep two friends and me (and our luggage) to the airport in his small car, I quoted Roy Scheider from Jaws, “I think we’re gonna need a bigger boat.”
When my best friend physically tried to restrain me from buying a $400 ticket for a Peter Gabriel revival concert, I utilized another Charlton Heston quote, this one from Planet of the Apes. “Take your stinking paws off me you damned dirty ape.”
When a friend asked if a story I’d written was true, I quoted Chinatown. “To tell you the truth, I lied a little.”
When my brother and I end a phone call I always say, “May the Force be with you.”
At a family Thanksgiving, I peered out the window and saw my Trump-loving uncle and his Maga wife arrive for holiday dinner. “They’re here,” I said quoting Poltergeist (equating my family members with demons).
Finally, when dealing with a gray matter-challenged clerk at the DMV, I quoted Groucho Mark: “He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.” (Film provenance unknown.)