2. KYK Genesis Water Ionizer | $1,995?You know you've got a home run when the packaging is emblazoned with Korean writing and photos of Ed Begley Jr.—because everyone knows Asian = UNQUESTIONABLY WISE and Ed Begley Jr. = THE LEFT TEAT OF MOTHER NATURE HERSELF. The ionizer attaches to your kitchen sink to deliver alkalized drinking water, which theoretically makes your body inhospitable to illness. Well, that's only if you can hook it up. I had trouble: After screwing in the new faucet head and pushing some buttons, the screen turned red and said "EO" while my tap sprayed liquid failure all over me and my kitchen.WIREDThe instructional DVD is pure Internet gold: You'll be certain that the four sub-infomercial-quality tracks must be comedy sketches ... but they're not.TIREDTough to install—add the cost of a plumber to the already high price. At least a 50 percent chance that the science used to develop it is 90 percent bullshit.