On Wednesday, Ruby called Jules asking if she could bring three-year-old Ruben with her for the afternoon. The day-care was closed for two days due to teacher illness and Ruby would either have to stay home with Ruben or bring him along. Jules was happy to oblige. He hadn’t been around a toddler in as long as he could remember. Ruby reminded Jules that Ruben was autistic, but that he would be well-behaved.
As he waited for Ruby and Ruben, Jules sat down at his desk. He’d been writing more lately, typing into one long document titled “Remembering and Forgetting” on his computer. He’d been writing out scenes from his memory for the last decade. It began when he attended grief therapy, but he’d kept it going, sporadically. Jules typed the word “toddler.” Then he closed his eyes. After a moment, Jules was sent back almost 20 years.
•••
Reva had an appointment and was home alone with three-year-old Neve because her daycare was unexpectedly closed. Reva asked Jules if he could take the morning off work and stay with his granddaughter.
Jules came over and watched Sesame Street and Thomas the Train with Neve. Neve kept crawling into his lap and turning her head to look up at him curiously. Toddlers lacked any self-consciousness. They ended up playing peek-a-boo for a long time. Neve couldn’t get enough of his sound effects or how he kept disappearing behind his hands and then reappearing. They listened to Paul Simon’s Graceland and danced around, Jules sweeping Neve up into the air, the two of them swirling in circles as Jules sang about bodyguards and long-lost pals. When they were exhausted, they ate goldfish crackers and sliced apples for lunch. It was a wonderful few hours for Jules.
Then his mind drifted toward the wistful. He didn’t see Becca as often during her childhood. The decision to move to Santa Barbara in 2006 wasn’t easy, but Jules and Violet were ready to share their new life on the west coast. Jules felt an ache of sorrow every time he thought of leaving Philadelphia, Reva and his granddaughters.
•••
When Ruby arrived, little Ruben clung to her leg, hiding from sight. She gave him a big hug and then plopped him down next to the couch, with a familiar blanket. Ruby set out a deck of playing cards on the coffee table in front of him. Ruben seemed perfectly content to play with this deck of cards. He began carefully sorting the deck.
Ruby spoke to him in Spanish and then repeated in English. She told him, “Encontrar la coincidencia. Find the match.”
He said “Rey, reina, jota.” He placed all the kings in one pile, then all the queens in the next pile and the jacks in a third pile. His tiny hands moved methodically, sliding the cards around until he found the matches.
Ruby went into the kitchen and opened the fridge, taking out vegetables and a package of chicken.
Occasionally, Ruben eyed Jules suspiciously. A strangely serious face for a little one. Jules was exhausted from the sleepless night. He sat on the couch, reading an essay on his tablet. Jules couldn’t help but peek over to observe Ruben every few minutes. As Ruby moved briskly about the kitchen, she asked Jules about his day. He told her about not sleeping very well and about the car break-in, but reassured her nothing was stolen.
“That’s crazy!” Ruby said, shaking her head. She chopped yellow onions, then bell peppers. The garlic had been diced. The chicken tenders were marinating. Tonight they would share fajitas.
Ruben suddenly shouted, “Pot-teee!” and searched for his mama. Ruby washed her hands in a flash and called out, “Coming, my angel!” She walked him to the bathroom and told him to sit on the seat like a big boy. Finally, Jules heard the toilet flush.
Ruby came back in. “Okay, 10 minutes cooking, and then we eat!”
“Sounds great!” Jules replied.
Jules tried occupying Ruben with peek-a-boo, but Ruben just stared at him, tilted his head, then focused back on his cards, as if to say, “This game is unnecessary.”
The garlic sizzled in the pan of olive oil. Soon, the kitchen filled with an aroma that had Jules’ stomach talking to him.
Ruben got up and walked over to the kitchen and spoke softly, “Tengo hambre, mama.”
“Un momento, cariño,” Ruby replied. Ruby called into the living room, “We sit on porch, before sun is gone. Yes?”
“Sure. We may need jackets!” Jules called back. “The placemats are in the drawer at the bottom next to the sink.” Jules remembered the word for bottom. “Abajo!” Near the sink! At the bottom!”
“Yes, I see,” Ruby called out.
The meal was lovely. Jules asked Ruby if the boy could have ginger ale in his small plastic cup. She replied, “Usually only water. But this time, okay. A little.” They all sipped. Ruben burped, which surprised and delighted himself. Jules followed, seconds later, belching from the carbonation and then making a goofy face.
Ruben giggled. Ruby smiled and told him, “Eructar. de las burbujas.” Jules said, “Burp!” and pointed to the glass of bubbles, as they floated to the top of the liquid. “Carbonation. Gas. Burp! Eructar!”
After dinner, Ruby brought out one slice of tres leches cake. Ruben said, “Ooooh.” The strawberries on top of the sweet cream glistened in the late-afternoon sun. She divided it three ways. Ruben’s face lit up as he gently picked up a small section of cake. Jules told Ruby, “Everything you cook. It’s just delicious!”
“Gracias, Senor Jules!” Ruby replied. “I enjoy making it. Special sauce.”
Ruby’s friend texted, she’d be arriving in a few minutes. Jules opened his arms and gave Ruby a warm hug. He thanked her again for the memorable meal. Soon, Ruby and Ruben were heading out the door. Ruben looked up and spoke to Jules for the first time during the visit. He simply said, “Bye!”
Jules watched as Ruby carried the boy down the stairs carefully and then they got into an old Corolla, with a duct-taped bumper.
After they left, Jules found his feet planted, holding the curtain open and staring out the window at the spot where Ruby and Ruben had been. Coming. Going. He thought for a moment he might call Reva, but when he went to get the phone from where he charged it on the kitchen counter, it wasn’t there. He couldn’t muster the energy to look for it.
Instead Jules made himself a cup of tea and went back to his book.