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Sports
Sep 09, 2024, 06:24AM

Sports Sans Meta

The most fun sports are the ones that haven’t been broken yet.

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The whole world's gone soft to go places. You can see it in the way people walk, shoulders slumped, eyes glued to their phones. Even sports aren’t what they used to be. Everything's got an angle now. Gamblers and number-crunchers run the show. But there's this show out of Korea that's bringing back the old ways. Physical: 100, they call it. It's no beauty pageant. Just sweat and strain and will.

You remember how it was back in the late-1970s? The original World's Strongest Man competitions. Guys hauling refrigerators on their backs. Flipping tires big as houses. No fancy equipment. No sports science mumbo-jumbo. Just a chance to discover which athletes from other sports could dig the deepest when it mattered, while performing a series of television-friendly events that they weren’t able to prepare for. That's what this Korean show's bringing back. The pure stuff. The kind of contest that gets your blood pumping just watching it.

A hundred bodies, all muscle and sinew. Men and women both. Doesn't matter if you're an Olympic champion or some weekend warrior who spends his days behind a desk. When the whistle blows, it's all the same. Who can hang from a bar the longest? Who can push a mine cart loaded with sand? It's simple. It's beautiful. It's what sport should be.

You get all types in there. Judokas, baseball players, soldiers. Even a few celebrities trying to prove they're more than just a pretty face. But when the party starts, none of that matters. Your Wikipedia page won't help you lift a 50-kilo stone. Your Instagram followers can't drag that ship across the sand for you.

It's got that raw feel. Like you're watching something you shouldn't. Just bodies straining, faces twisted in effort. You can almost smell the sweat through the screen. It's a throwback to when sports were sports, not some sanitized product for the masses.

There's strategy. But it's the kind of strategy a caveman would understand. How do you conserve your strength? When do you make your move? It's not about memorizing playbooks or studying advanced analytics. It's about reading your opponent's body, feeling the moment. The kind of instinct that's bred in the bone, not learned from some coach with a clipboard.

You watch these people, and you see the stories written on their bodies. The Olympic wrestler, all coiled power. The strongman, built like a brick wall. The marathon runner, lean as a whippet. Each one's got their strength. Each one's got their weakness. And in every event, you're seeing a lifetime of athleticism put to the test.

There's this one guy, a CrossFitter. He's not the biggest. Not the strongest. But he's got that look in his eye. The kind of look that says he'd rather die than quit. You see him in the final challenge, going toe-to-toe with guys twice his size. And he's winning. Not because he's better trained or has better technique. But because he wants it more. Because he's willing to force himself past that point where most people give up.

That's what makes this show special. It's not just about who's the strongest or the fastest. It's about who's got the most heart. Who can dig the deepest when everything in their body is screaming at them to stop. It's the kind of test that reveals a person's true character.

You get these moments of pure drama. Two competitors, locked in a battle of wills. Neither one giving an inch. Muscles trembling, sweat pouring off them. And you're sitting there, heart in your throat, wondering who's going to break first. It's raw. It's real. It's everything that's missing from most sports these days.

The beauty of it is, you can't fake it. You can't buy your way to the top. You can't rely on some fancy equipment or cutting-edge technique. It's just you against obstacles you never saw coming. You pushing your limits to a place where there aren’t any limits, to borrow a braindead marketing tagline from a former employer of mine. The kind of test that strips away all the bull and leaves only the essence of what it means to be an athlete.

There's no meta to learn. No shortcuts. No way to game the system. Each challenge is something new, something unexpected. All you can do is be ready for anything. Be strong, be fast, be tough. Be willing to suffer. That's the only preparation that matters.

It's not perfect—way too much endurance stuff, far too few strength-biased events. But nothing is. Besides, it's a step in the right direction. A reminder of what sports used to be. What they should be. Not some sanitized product designed to maximize ad or gambling revenue. Not some stat-geek's fantasy. Just a pure test of human will and ability.

Imagine if we had more of this in the States. Take all those college athletes, the ones who didn't quite make it to the pros. Basement and garage gym habitués like “ya boi” here who still dream of glory. Put them through the wringer. No need for fancy stadiums or million-dollar contracts. Just find an old warehouse, set up some neat-looking obstacles, and let them go at it.

You could do it cheap. Make it a spectacle. Get some weirdo underemployed artist types to design the sets and film the showdown. Make it look like something out of a Frank Frazetta painting or a Mad Max movie. The athletes wouldn't care. They'd do it for the chance to prove themselves.

People would watch. They'd eat it up like day-old slop on a half-priced Indian buffet. Because deep down, we all crave that purity. That true test of human ability. A glimpse of what sports would be if we stripped away all the nonsense and got back to basics.

That's what Physical: 100 is offering. That's why it lingers in the mind. And that's why we need more reminders of what true strength looks like. Of what the human spirit is capable of when it exceeds its limits. To remind us of who we are, and what we can still be.

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