As each country's athletes entered, the viewers of the world witnessed the names of countries rarely discussed in global politics. One thing to keep in mind: Going with Portuguese as they do in Brazil, the alphabetical order was very different. Here are some stray observations from the opening ceremonies for the Summer Olympics.
Antigua and Barbuda: I always feel bad for Barbuda. Coming in 2nd before you even start.
Argentina: Southern Europe via South America.
Bulgarians: Like Aryans, but bulky.
Burkina Faso: Definitely get the award for best hats.
Bermuda: Forced to wear shorts to let the world know about Bermuda shorts.
Belarus: Belly Russians. The best kind.
Kazakhstan: One of the few countries that is both Asian and European.
Chad: Still hanging out after all these years.
Chile: Ooh-oh Chile... things are gonna get easier.
Democratic Republic of the Congo: Not to be confused with the Republican Democracy of the Congo.
Cameroon: Where they make caramel macaroons.
Costa Rica: Rico Costa performed in the Olympic Trials in table tennis but didn't make the team.
Cyprus: It’s good to know that Cypress Hill has been keeping busy and got his own island and shit.
Denmark: The contingent came in solemnly. No dancing. A few tiny flags waved.
Egypt: Most walked in like Egyptians. Some more like Moroccans.
Slovakia: Walked in quite leisurely.
Micronesia: Athletes here are much more specific in their training than Macronesians.
Estonia: People who love in glass houses shouldn't throw Estonians.
Yemen: Yes, there were men and women from Yemen.
Jamaica: The bobsled team was nowhere to be found.
Kiribati: If you know where Kiribati is, you may be a professional geographer.
Lesotho: Second best hats.
Lichtenstein: Such a long name for such a tiny country.
Maldives: Swimming for their very lives!
Malta: Bet you never knew where those little chocolate whoppers were made.
United States of America: We've never been more divided in many ways, though we do still have a federal government and a flag.