The first time I ever
heard about oral sex was during the Lewinsky scandal. Mostly, I remember being
confused by President Clinton’s response—“It depends on what the meaning of
‘is’ is.” When it comes to sex, politicians face all sorts of double standards:
who is allowed to have sex with whom, what constitutes sex, and whether it’s
appropriate, to name a few. Candie's Foundation’s announcement that
they were partnering with Bristol Palin to promote an abstinence-only campaign
has caused me to reflect on my own experiences as a political daughter, and the
role sex plays in defining the Republican Party.Let me get something straight: Bristol Palin, as an
18-year-old adult, is free to make her own choices and decide how she wants her
life to unfold. But for whatever reasons, the American public and media remain
overly engrossed in our politicians’ sex lives and, as in this case, those of
their families. There’s an especially unhealthy attitude among conservatives.
Daughters of Republican politicians aren’t expected to have sex, let alone
enjoy it—as if there were some strange chastity belt automatically attached to
us female offspring. God forbid anyone talk realistically about life
experiences and natural, sexual instincts. Nope, the answer is always
abstinence.
This is something I know
about firsthand. During my father’s 2000 presidential campaign, a reporter
asked how he would feel if I became pregnant and wanted an abortion. He
answered that it would be my choice, sending shockwaves throughout the party
(because for the GOP there is only one answer, and obviously Senator McCain’s
daughter shouldn’t be engaging in sex ever). I’d like to thank that reporter
for single-handedly putting me through years of trying to reconcile the fact
that when it comes to politics, no matter what you do or who you are,
everything is fair game.But seriously, here was a
father, delicately navigating a question about his teenage daughter and being
true to the kind of father he had always been, and the Republican Party was
outraged. It didn’t matter that my parents raised me to know that, regardless
of the mistakes I might make, they would allow me the dignity and courage to
make my own choices. That’s the kind of trust my parents have always placed in
their children—yet the GOP still needed to get involved and have a say in what
I did with my body.Here’s what I’ve never understood about the party:
its resistance to discussing better access to birth control. As a Republican, I
am pro-life. But using birth control and having an abortion are not the same at
all. Actually, the best way to prevent abortions is to educate people about
birth control and make it widely and easily accessible. True, abstinence is the
only way to fully prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Still,
the problem with abstinence-only education is that it does not make teenagers
and young adults more knowledgeable about all the issues they face if or when
they have sex—physically and emotionally.