The week of the Democratic National Convention was an interesting study in contrast. While the Party was falling in love with Tim Walz, right-wing pundits found his popularity inscrutable. An outwardly affectionate husband and father, many women commentators suggested that Walz was the antidote to the toxic masculinity of the Trump era. At the other end of the ideological spectrum, social media personality Andrew Tate was back in the news for again getting arrested in an ongoing sex trafficking investigation, expanded to include the abuse of minors.
Since Barack Obama’s 2008 victory, a lot of analysis has been given to the racist backlash to the election of a Black president. What’s largely overlooked is the sexist backlash to the rising presence of women in power, and how it exists in tandem. Obama would go on to appoint two women to the Supreme Court, and more women to executive positions within his administration than any president to that point. Beginning in 2012, both Republicans and Democrats have continually elected more women to office than ever before.
While the sexist backlash has largely fallen along party lines, with conservatives leading the charge, liberals haven’t been immune. The 2010 midterm elections saw the first decline of women running for office, which I always saw as women unwilling to subject themselves to the intrusive, brutal criticism that Sarah Palin faced as the first woman Republican nominee for vice president.
If liberals were prone to petty insults, Republican politicians were eager to turn their grievances into policy. After those midterms, where Republicans won a majority of statehouses and governors’ mansions, there was a surge in state-level bills attacking reproductive healthcare. The concurrent emergence of manosphere blogs also showcased men who saw their power as waning, and viewed feminism as the crisis of contemporary life.
Trading on his brief success as a professional athlete, Andrew Tate used his marketing acumen to sell himself as a Trump-like figure of the manosphere, initially under guise of offering dating advice. He takes pride in showing off his car collection and cigar smoking, playing with weapons, and strutting about shirtless while calling himself a real-life James Bond. There’s some Trump support thrown in, and guest appearances on Infowars. Tate’s been accused of selling pyramid schemes, get-rich-quick scams, and possibly using it all as a front for sex trafficking.
Shortly before Tate’s first arrest in 2022, YouTube comedian Danny Gonzalez made a video that began as an attempt to take the piss out of Tate’s self-aggrandizing persona and alleged con artist shenanigans, describing Tate’s club as “a bachelor party for men whose wives have already left them.” As Gonzalez learned more about Tate’s webcam business, he has a moment of shock: “I’m not a lawyer, but does this not feel illegal? At the very least, this feels insanely creepy, this feels abusive, this feels like he’s just confessing to crimes.” In a separate video, Vice News described Tate’s webcam business as built on the loverboy pimp con, and Romanian law enforcement appears to agree.
Even if the young men he largely appeals to don’t financially invest in Tate’s courses, they’re frequently entertained by his videos where he freely admits to his misogyny, indulging a view of women that appears purely self-indulgent and transactional. Tate’s social media following measures in the millions, and he’s circumvented bans by having small accounts share his podcast videos. Teachers expressed concern on the impact they’re seeing in the effect Tate’s popularity has had on their students, where boys feel entitled to lash out at female teachers and peers, only to regard consequences as persecution. A common refrain is a shortage of positive male role models to balance out the Tates of the world, and I think there’s a kernel of truth in it, but don’t think that explains everything.
Most people want families—they want to get married and raise children. But personal variables can make conforming to traditional gender roles irrelevant, and the prospect of politicizing the situation is foolish. As society has adjusted to women achieving more workplace prominence, as well as the normalization of gay families, the conservative view of the Ozzie & Harriet-style nuclear family looks antiquated. This could be why Tim Walz’s live-and-let-live message is so resonant. In speaking so warmly about his wife and children, and watching them respond in kind, family values means a family where its members value each other, warts and all. More specifically, Walz’s version of masculinity isn’t about asserting dominance over his family or anyone else, but being a supportive husband and father, and an asset to the community.
In his campaign for vice president, Walz’s characterizing Republicans as weird has been effective because it’s true. Superficially, he should have a lot in common with conservatives that like to play up their family values, like J.D. Vance and Josh Hawley. It’s also weird to give in to a doublethink that allows them to preach family values while keeping a credibly accused sexual abuser at the top of their party’s ticket, and that’s why guys like Tate are comfortable in their party.
I have a cautious optimism that the boys who look up to Tate will eventually outgrow him as the realities of adulthood sink in. Tate responded to Gonzalez on his podcast, admitting he didn’t even watch the video: “I don’t need to react to this guy because life has already reacted to him—look at his existence! Look at who he is as an individual! Would you want to be him?” Most of the comments were people affirming that they’d prefer to be like Danny Gonzalez, in his nice house, with his loving family, and complete lack of arrest warrants.
As a woman, I don’t have a stake in the argument about what makes a man manly, but I do know the sort of guys whose company I prefer. Personality goes a long way, and all the money and cars in the world will never be a sufficient substitute.
