Splicetoday

Politics & Media
May 07, 2008, 07:23AM

Dang Kids

If kids keep up this voting nonsense they might actually insist that politicians listen to them, and political apathy won't seem cool anymore. Then how will the nation's entrenched old people dupe youths into paying for social security?

"Today, 18-year-olds are mucking up the whole system with their can-do attitude. See, they are new to the political arena and still have all that misplaced idealism instilled by today’s liberal teachers. I told you once the schools started teaching evolution we’d be in trouble.

The teachers are filling our kids’ heads with nonsense, telling them they can change the world. Teachers spend all day talking about daydreamers like George Washington and Thomas Jefferson, so how can we expect students to have a realistic view of the world?

For goodness’ sake, if we don’t put a stop to this unbridled optimism, the kids might actually do it. They could change the world.

Ugh, just thinking about it makes me want to puke. A nation where everybody has access to health care, broadband Internet and abortions as far as the eye can see. Can you imagine such a despicable place?

I used to think liberals were being horribly unpatriotic when they said they would move to Canada after George W. Bush was elected. Now I get it. If I had to live in a world controlled by youth, I’d be on the first ship to Mars.

The youth know nothing of our status quo and honorable institutions. If they are in charge, will our tax collectors continue collecting? Will our bureaucrats be able to keep bureaucratting? What an inhospitable place this nation would be without them. Nobody pinching pennies or pushing paper — pure pandemonium.

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Discussion
  • This author is too glib. The idea of Vietnam-era youths being able to drink and vote at 18 if they were old enough to be drafted wasn't "malarkey." Yes, if you read some history, you'll find that Nixon's nod to 18-year-olds was cynical, but the morality that drove that agenda was sound.

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