Tired of running the Fortune 500 and every Scotch bar this side of Broadway, Ivy League grads have now turned their sights on running a new part of the world: prison. According to Bloomberg, Ivy League degrees are papering more cell walls than ever–over a dozen high-level execs from top-ranked schools have been sentenced to prison time in the last decade.
They’re mostly in minimum-security joints for white-collar crimes like embezzlement or fraud, but their sentences can run pretty high. Former Refco CEO Phillip Bennett (with a master’s degree from Cambridge) will soon begin a 16-year sentence for money laundering and bank fraud. He can look forward to jail-yard brawls with the Harvards (Jeffrey Skilling, William Sorin) and the Whartons (Timothy Rigas), two of the least-scary prison gangs ever (for now). It’s hard to tell why smart folks go bad, but, according to Wharton prof Tom Donaldson, “If the devil exists, he no doubt has a high IQ and an Ivy League degree.” Oh crap, he’s onto us! Fortunately, we’ve got this guy on our side.