Google Suggest: Shocking stupidity revealed

One of Google’s latest gambits is “Google Suggest.” It’s now my new favorite way to amuse myself. As you begin to type, 10 suggestions of what the most popular searches are drop down. This also means that a seven-year-old will get the same results as me. While the suggestions are pretty interesting, I think it may be a step towards making people slightly more retarded.

Type in the word “why,” for example. Among the Top 10 suggestions I got were “Why can’t I own a Canadian,” “Why is my poop green” and “Why do dogs eat poop.” Are these questions my Americans are really pondering? According to Google, apparently so. If I type, “what is” I find nuggets like “What is a hob knocker” and “What is lady gaga’s real name.” If I go one step further and add “the,” Suggest gives me “what is the meaning of life” and of course, “what is the average peni size.” Yes, peni. By bringing the phrase to “what is the address” it is a little frightening that along with the White House, the Playboy Mansion and the Empire State building, a top searched address is “the jersey shore house.”

Here’s how Suggest works, as described by Google:

“As you type, Google Suggest returns search queries based on other users' search activities. These searches are algorithmically determined based on a number of purely objective factors (including popularity of search terms) without human intervention.”

It would also seem that people are looking to the Internet to tell their future. Simple searches garner suggestions like “what is the name of the person I will marry” and “will I have school tomorrow.” I know that these are legitimate questions in a desperate mind, but people can’t possibly think that the Internet can give them these answers. If you have to Google “how do I get pregnant,” there are many things you shouldn’t be doing and Googling is only one of them. This is plainly irresponsible of Google and the company is not helping my opinion of humanity at all.